Heloisa

This TDC Writing Course truly increased my writing skills. I’ve learned that an academic essay needs an introduction, a body and a conclusion. The ideas must be organized in a coherent and cohesive structure to produce an effective communication, and it is important to have a good hook to grab the readers’ attention. Reviewing my peer’s essay help me to recognize my own mistakes as well as having my texts reviewed by a peer helped me to improve my abilities. I am sure everything I've learned in this course will help me in life greatly. **//No matter how one may think himself accomplished, when he sets out to learn a new language, science, or the bicycle, he has entered a new realm as truly as if he were a child newly born into the world.//** ~Frances Willard, //How I Learned to Ride the Bicycle// **__Fisrt essay__**
 * What are the advantages of being bilingual in today’s society?**

Living in a foreign country is a great opportunity to learn a second language. Among some advantages of being bilingual in today’s society two, in my point of view, seem to be the most interesting: the first one is to facilitate the communication with people from different cultures and the second one is to develop knowledge in other fields. Being able to break barriers of communication can bring you a very good feeling of being included in the world. You are able to talk to many people and to appreciate different cultures. It was never so important to learn a second language especially because nowadays our world became a melting pot of culture, races and religions. Furthermore, to be bilingual helps you to develop knowledge in many fields. In addition, if you understand the language of the country you go visit, everything becomes easier and the experience of making new friends, tasting new flavours and knowing new ways of lives will be delightful. My experience includes time spent in The United States and time in Italy and these opportunities gave me many benefits. I learned two languages and now I can appreciate the culture of these two countries better. One aspect that I always had a great curiosity about them was the food. And mainly in Italy, I learned a lot. On the other hand, If you don’t speak the language of the country you go to visit you may have some problems. When I went to France to see my sister who was living there, I had so many problems trying to get the right food, to communicate with local people and also visiting places. Because I didn’t speak French, I felt like having lost a great opportunity of knowing such an interesting country! Besides all of that, If you need to research about an specific subject it is an enormous advantage to know the language from what the subject is related to. For example, reading a French culinary book in its original language is much better. If you are interested in computer science books, you are going to find the best ones in English. Not to mention that being able to read a book in the original idiom is wonderful. Finally, with globalization increasing, being bilingual will help people to be more connected no matter their culture, beliefs and race. Moreover, the interchange of thoughts and ideas help you to communicate better and to change knowledge in different fields. __**Narrative essay (second essay)**__ **My first experience living in a foreign country** I have an aunt who has been living in the United States since she was eighteen years old and she used to invite me to stay with her many times. One day I decided to go. Staying with her and her family was one of the greatest experiences in my life. Besides learning a new language, I made new friends and I really got into the culture of a great and beautiful country. When I arrived there, I got very excited. First, I was excited because it was my first time in a foreign country, and second because I was going to live something really new in my life. On the other hand, learning English wasn’t an easy process because my aunt used to speak just Portuguese with me; I used to take English classes just twice a week and all the students were foreign too. My experience of learning English in a regular course was limited to this little experience and a short period taking English as a Second Language at the local College. Thus, from that period until de end of the time there, I learned the language with the people from the city and the new friends I had met. Besides the experience of studying a new language, making new friends was the best aspect of living abroad. I had a girlfriend who lived in a beautiful city by the Pacific Ocean and I used to spend every weekend with her. We used to go out often and in one of these times I met my first American boyfriend. He was handsome and very kind and we had a great time together. He took me to many interesting places and showed me the authentic American way of life by introducing me to his family, his friends and his culture. Moreover, going out constantly and talking to him helped me to improve the skills with the language and mainly to be familiar with the American people and their habits and customs. Another great experience I had was working as a babysitter. Once I read in the newspaper an advertisement looking for a foreign girl to take care of two children. At first I got really scared with the big responsibility of taking care of two children, but I decided to live this new adventure. The family’s house was in a very nice place by the ocean and the children were very cute and curious about my “weird accent”. In spite of the fact that this new experience wasn’t easy due to my lack of practice at that time, everything went well and the whole situation was very meaningful to my life. During the time I was living in a foreign country, I realized that living abroad does more for you than just being bilingual; it enables you to live new relationships and to learn about the real culture of a country. I never returned to the United States again, but I will never forget this memorable experience in my life.

__**Argumentative essay**__
 * Should we adopt the blended format to TDC Writing Course?**

When I arrived for my first TDC Writing class I was really exited with all the situations I was going to face up during the course. We had had a very pleasant meeting, when, in the end of the class, the teacher proposed us to meet (each other) just once per week and to give the other part of the course on an e-learning platform. It would be an experiment and we were there to judge by our own experience if it would work or not. At the beginning, I got very frightened with the news because I was really used to the old and comfortable traditional face-to-face format of classes. Now that classes are finishing, I realized that the blended format helped me to enrich my abilities as a student. Besides all these reasons, a blended course gave me the benefits of both approaches which are computer-mediated educational tools and interaction.(//**Here you are already supporting your point of view, which is not appropriate in the introduction).**// The blended format can help students to improve their computers skills. Online classes develop knowledge of the Internet and the ability with computer tools which will (auxiliary) help/aid students in their lives. Furthermore, a blended learning environment brings a sense of commitment on each one’s part to learning and this builds self-confidence and encourages students to take responsibility for their learning. Additionally, having an extra time to research, to prepare the tasks, to assimilate the information and to respond to the questions are the greatest advantages of having a blended course. Online environment enables students to do their assignments quietly, looking for the right and proper (ly ) answers. Even shy students can give their opinions more freely, without having the obstacle of being in front of other students. Likewise, the flexibility to join discussions in the social forum at any hour as well as the possibility for students to study anywhere they have access to a computer and internet connection are important reasons to adopt a blended format (to) in the TDC Writing Course. Despite these benefits for students, some learners might argue that the blended format would (prejudice) hinder the interaction between students, who could feel isolated from the teacher and other students. (But) However/Nevertheless, it does not make any sense because they can contact each other and join discussions at any time as soon as they have access to an internet connection. Likewise, the teacher is always available if they need help. Being in front of an online platform to study and prepare their homework will not inhibit students’ interaction. Besides that, a blended format course permits students to enjoy two kinds of approach: by computer and personally. Because of these relevant reasons, having a blended format TDC Writing Course can give to the students the benefits of both approaches. To improve their computer abilities and to help shy people to express themselves better are great advantages of working in front of a computer. To be in a classroom and interact with the teacher and other students is another big advantage. Associating online and face-to-face aspects has an excellent advantage for all. __**Process Analysis Essay**__

**How to teach English to children** (__**First draft)**__ According to Neville Grant “ the teaching of English to young children has become especially important in recent years” and “ one reason for this has been the introduction of primary ELF teaching in a number of European country – but it is also a world-wide phenomenon” says Grant. Wendy Scott and Lisbeth Ytreberg in “Teaching English to children ( Longman Keys to language learning) offer a resource book of ideas and approaches for use with young children. Then, the next paragraphs will present some advice and approaches in the classroom suggested by the writers.

At first, say Scott and Ytreberg (1994) “words are not enough” and “most activities for young learners should include movement and involve senses”. They suggest that “you will need to have plenty of objects and pictures to work with, and to make full use of the school and your surroundings”. “Demonstrate what you want them to do” complement them. And they conclude saying: “Since concentration and attention spans are short, variety is a must – variety of activity, variety of pace, variety of organisation, variety of voice”.

Then the writers suggest that the pupils must play with the language and this happens when they talk to themselves, make up rhymes, sing songs, tell stories. “Let them talk nonsense, experiment with words and sounds” say the writers. The writers complement saying that “the spoken word is often accompanied by other clues to meaning – facial expressions, movement, etc.” and that we should make full use of these clues. “When pupils star to read, the language becomes something permanent and there are fewer other clues to meaning. Pupil can take a book home, they can read it again and again, they can stop, think about the language and work it out. The same is true of writing. So reading and writing are extremely important for the child’s growing awareness of language” end the writers.

Finally, “children have an amazing ability to absorb language through play and other activities which they find enjoyable” say the writers and “how good they are in a foreign language is not dependent on whether they have learnt the grammar rules or not” conclude the writers. They suggest “ you should note the structures, functions and grammar items which you want your pupils to learn as well as those they already know, but your actual teaching should only include the barest minimum of grammar, taught as grammar, and then for the older children only”; and they conclude saying that “the best time to introduce some sort of simple grammar is either when a pupil ask for an explanation, or when you think a pupil will benefit from learning some grammar” conclude the writers.

These suggestions “refer to children’s general language development” and “when it comes to learning a foreign language, there is still a lot we do not know. There are many similarities between learning one’s mother tongue and learning a foreign language in spite of the differences in age and the time available”. “Much seems to depend on witch mother tongue the pupils speak and on social and emotional factors in the child’s background”, close the writers.

Bibliography: Scott A. Wendy and Ytreberg H. Lisbeth. 1994. //Teaching English to Children.// New York: Longman

**How to teach English to children** (__**Second draft)**__ According to Neville Grant “the teaching of English to young children has become especially important in recent years” and “ one reason for this has been the introduction of primary ELF teaching in a number of European count ries – but it is also a world-wide phenomenon” says Grant (Wendy and Ytreberg, 1994. p. ? ). Wendy Scott and Lisbeth Ytreberg in “Teaching English to children ( Longman Keys to language learning) offer a resource book of ideas and approaches for use with young children. Then, the next paragraphs will present some advice and approaches in the classroom suggested by the writers. At first, say Scott and Ytreberg (1994) “words are not enough” and “most activities for young learners should include movement and involve senses” (p.5). Teaching English to children involves many activities such as mim ing stories, drawing, playing with puppets, songs etc. You need to be ( creative, otherwise) creative. Otherwise*, you will not get their attention. The use of pictures is fundamental to memorize the name of the things (, therefore). Therefore*, a good tip is to spread pictures of anything all over the classroom. Playing with the language, talking to themselves, making up rhymes, singing songs and telling stories are good strategies to develop the language. “Let them talk nonsense, experiment with words and sounds” say Scott and Ytreberg (1994, p. 5). Hints can help the process of speaking and facial expressions and movement are some of these hints. Reading a book many times as well as writing are very important for the child’s improvement of language. //(This paragraph needs a topic sentence. You already start with examples. You also need to make it clearer how it differs from the previous one, which also mentions stories)// Finally, playing and doing pleasant activities help children to learn language. Work ing in groups or even alone are some of good ways to create an atmosphere of ( engaging) engagement. Teaching grammar rules or not does not (determinate) determine how good they are in a foreign language. Scott and Ytreberg (1994) suggest “you should note the structures, functions and grammar items which you want your pupils to learn as well as those they already know, but your actual teaching should only include the barest minimum of grammar” (p.6). These suggestions are for children’s general language development and there are still many things we need to know in order to get better results. The process of learning a foreign language may be influenced by many factors such as age, time available and even social and emotional factors in the child’s background.

Bibliography: Scott A. Wendy and Ytreberg H. Lisbeth. 1994. //Teaching English to Children.// New York: Longman

* Otherwise is a transition word and should start the next sentence, and not come after a comma as if it were a conjunction. The same applies to "therefore"

You did a good job citing the sources and eliminating a lot of the direct citations. However, I still missed more examples and illustrations based on your own ideas, not just the authors'. I like the way you changed your conclusion.

__**Narrative Essay**__ **How was my first experience living in a foreign country (first draft)** I have an aunt who has been living in the United States since she was eighteen years old and she used to invite me to stay with her many times, thus one day I decided to go. Staying with her and her family was one of the greatest experiences I had in my life. Besides learning a new language, I made new friends and I really got into the culture of a great and beautiful country. When I arrived there, I got very excited. First, because I never had been in a foreign country before and after because I was going to live something really new in my life, especially for someone like me who had always lived with the family. On the other hand, learning English wasn’t an easy process because my aunt used to speak just Portuguese with me, I used to take English classes just twice a week and all the students were foreign too. My experience of learning English in a regular course was limited to this little experience and a short period taking English as a Second Language at the local College. Thus, from that period until de end of the time there, I learned the language with the people from the city and the new friends I had met. Besides the experience of studying a new language, making new friends was the best aspect of living abroad. I had a girlfriend who lived in a beautiful city by the Pacific Ocean and I used to spend every weekend with her. We use to party a lot and in one of these times I met my first American boyfriend. He was handsome and very kind and we had a great time together. He took me to many places and showed me the authentic american way of life by introducing me to his family, his friends and his culture. Moreover, going out constantly and talking to him helped me to improve the skills with the language and mainly to get familiarity with the American people and their habits and customs. Another great experience I had was working as a babysitter. One time, I read in the newspaper an announce looking for a foreign girl to take care of two children. First of all, I got really scared because I didn’t know if I would be able to do this kind of job. After all, taking care of children is a big responsibility! Finally, I decided to live this new adventure. The family’s house was in a very nice place by the ocean and the children were very cute and curious about my “weird accent”. In spite of the fact that this new experience hadn’t being easy due to my lack of practice in that time, everything went well and the whole situation was very meaningful to my life. In the time I was living in a foreign country I realized that living abroad does more for you than just being bilingual, it enables you to live new relationships and to learn about the real culture of a country. I never came back to the United States again, but I will never forget this memorable experience in my life. **Peer reviewer** > > **How was my first experience living in a foreign country** > I have an aunt who has been living in the United States since she was eighteen years old and she used to invite me to stay with her many times, thus [I1] one day I decided to go. Staying with her and her family was one of the greatest experiences I had in my life. Besides learning a new language, I made new friends and I really got into the culture of a great and beautiful country. > When I arrived there, I got very excited. First, because I never had been in a foreign country before and after [I2] because I was going to live something really new in my life, especially for someone like me who had always lived with the family [I3]. On the other hand, learning English wasn’t an easy process because my aunt used to speak just Portuguese with me, [I4] I used to take English classes just twice a week and all the students were foreign too. My experience of learning English in a regular course was limited to this little experience and a short period taking English as a Second Language at the local College. Thus, from that period until de end of the time there, I learned the language with the people from the city and the new friends I had met. > Besides the experience of studying a new language, making new friends was the best aspect of living abroad. I had a girlfriend who lived in a beautiful city by the Pacific Ocean and I used to spend every weekend with her. We use to party a lot and in one of these times I met my first American boyfriend. He was handsome and very kind and we had a great time together. He took me to many places and showed me the authentic a [I5] merican way of life by introducing me to his family, his friends and his culture. Moreover, going out constantly and talking to him helped me to improve the skills with the language and mainly to get [I6] familiarity [I7] with the American people and their habits and customs. > Another great experience I had was working as a babysitter. One time [I8], I read in the newspaper an announce [I9] looking for a foreign girl to take care of two children. First of all, [I10] I got really scared because I didn’t know if I would be able to do this kind of job. After all, taking care of children is a big responsibility! Finally, I decided to live this new adventure. The family’s house was in a very nice place by the ocean and the children were very cute and curious about my “weird accent”. In spite of the fact that this new experience hadn’t being easy due to my lack of practice in [I11] that time, everything went well and the whole situation was very meaningful to my life. > In [I12] the time I was living in a foreign country I realized that living abroad does more for you than just being bilingual, [I13] it enables you to live new relationships and to learn about the real culture of a country. I never came back to the United States again, but I will never forget this memorable experience in my life. > **Peer reviewer** > ** Yes, they are. I could picture the whole idea you wanted to convey. ** > ** No, everything is clear to me. ** > ** I would revise the punctuation of some sentences (beginning of first paragraph; six first lines of second paragraph; second line of conclusion). Also, I would try to insert more colourful, advanced vocabulary and check word formation, as well as reporting words. ** > ** Your experience as a baby-sitter/your relationship with the kids. ** > ** Sure! It does a very good job! ** > ** Mostly. See highlighted words in the text. ** > ** Title. How my first experience (...) WAS ** > > ** Your colleague’s feedback is very complete. I think you should follow it. I would like to congratulate you on the outstanding progress you’ve made. Your paragraphing is great now and the ideas are well organized and flow really well. The introduction, development, and conclusion are all there. I also liked the way you tried to use varied connectors. You just need to be careful about comma splices. If you don’t know what they are, look this topic up in the appendices of your textbook. **
 * 1) 1. Are the supporting paragraphs organized in a logical manner?
 * 2) 2. Is there any aspect of the essay that looks unclear to you?
 * 3) 3. Can you think of an area in the essay that needs more development?
 * 4) 4. In your opinion, what are the most memorable details in the essay?
 * 5) 5. Do you think the introduction does a good job of introducing the topic?
 * 6) 6. Do I use the past tense correctly?
 * 7) 7. If you find other grammar errors, write one of them here. ** Peer reviewed **
 * 1) 1. Are the supporting paragraphs organized in a logical manner?
 * 1) 2. Is there any aspect of the essay that looks unclear to you?
 * 1) 3. Can you think of an area in the essay that needs more development?
 * 1) 4. In your opinion, what are the most memorable details in the essay?
 * 1) 5. Do you think the introduction does a good job of introducing the topic?
 * 1) 6. Do I use the past tense correctly?
 * 1) 7. If you find other grammar errors, write one of them here.

[I1] Not a coordinating conjunction. Either change the punctuation or change the conjunction [I2] ww [I3] This is a fragment [I4] comma splice [I5] capitalize [I6] ww [I7] wf [I8] ww [I9] ww [I10] wrong expression [I11] ww [I12] ww [I13] Again, this is a comma splice > **My first experience living in a foreign country (second draft)** > > > > I have an aunt who has been living in the United States since she was eighteen years old and she used to invite me to stay with her many times. One day I decided to go. Staying with her and her family was one of the greatest experiences in my life. Besides learning a new language, I made new friends and I really got into the culture of a great and beautiful country. > > > When I arrived there, I got very excited. First, I was excited because it was my first time in a foreign country, and second because I was going to live something really new in my life. On the other hand, learning English wasn’t an easy process because my aunt used to speak just Portuguese with me; I used to take English classes just twice a week and all the students were foreign too. My experience of learning English in a regular course was limited to this little experience and a short period taking English as a Second Language at the local College. Thus, from that period until de end of the time there, I learned the language with the people from the city and the new friends I had met. > > > Besides the experience of studying a new language, making new friends was the best aspect of living abroad. I had a girlfriend who lived in a beautiful city by the Pacific Ocean and I used to spend every weekend with her. We used to go out often and in one of these times I met my first American boyfriend. He was handsome and very kind and we had a great time together. He took me to many interesting places and showed me the authentic American way of life by introducing me to his family, his friends and his culture. Moreover, going out constantly and talking to him helped me to improve the skills with the language and mainly to be familiar with the American people and their habits and customs. > > > Another great experience I had was working as a babysitter. Once I read in the newspaper an advertisement looking for a foreign girl to take care of two children. At first I got really scared with the big responsibility of taking care of two children, but I decided to live this new adventure. The family’s house was in a very nice place by the ocean and the children were very cute and curious about my “weird accent”. In spite of the fact that this new experience wasn’t easy due to my lack of practice at that time, everything went well and the whole situation was very meaningful to my life. > > > At (During) the time I was living in a foreign country, I realized that living abroad does more for you than just being bilingual; it enables you to live new relationships and to learn about the real culture of a country. I never returned to the United States again, but I will never forget this memorable experience in my life. what you learned from rewriting it > > Dear Heloisa, > Congratulations on the amazing job correcting your writing. Apart from the fragment (sorry I didn't notice this the first time) and a preposition, everything else is fine. I can see you are learning a lot from this course and putting everything in practice. > > __ **Narrative essay (outline)** __ > > ** Title ** : How was my first experience living in a foreign country > > > ** I. **** Introduction ** > > > ** A. Hook ** : Collecting new experiences of living abroad > > > ** B. Connecting information ** : When you have relatives living abroad to visit other countries becomes cheaper and consequently easier > > > ** C. Thesis statement ** : I went to The USA to live with an aunt who has been living there for almost fifty years and I have a wonderful time learning a new language, meeting new friends and living a new, exciting and rich experience of being in a foreign country > > ** II. Body Paragraph 1 ** : First I went to one school to learn English. My first experience learning the language out of my country. The contact with persons from all over the world, especially the people from Central andSouth America. > > ** III. Body Paragraph 2: ** Meanwhile, I met some new friends who helped me a lot with the language. They helped me with slang and some casual expressions. I also dated some guys which was a pleasant approach with the language. In a good sense, of course! > > ** IV. Body Paragraph 3 ** : Then, I got courage to do something I never had done before, I worked as a babysitter. Besides everything I had done, saw and learned, working was a great experience also. > > > ** V. Conclusion ** : Finally, my experience of living in a foreign country give me many benefits: I learned a second language and I achieved a rich and exciting experience. > > > === Peer Edited by Juliana Squinca  === > Peer editing of narrative outlines > === === > by Juliana Squinca > === === > === === > (Questions copied from the peer review on Gabriel's page... :-o) > === === > === === > === === > ** 1. Is there any aspect of the outline that looks unclear to you? ** > === === > === === > I don't think so. There are enough details that lead us to imagine the whole narrative. > > === === > ** 2. Can you think of an area in the outline that needs more development? Do you have any specific suggestions? ** > === === > === === > Not really. Maybe the hook can be improved a little. > === === > === === > ** 3. If you have any other ideas and suggestions, write them here. ** > === === > === === > I don't have any suggestions for the time being. I'm sure Heloísa will excel in her narrative essay. I'm really curious about the boyfriends' stories. :-) > === === > === === >

> > > ** Task 2- Rewriting my first essay: ** **What are the advantages of being bilingual in today society?** > > > __ **First draft:** __ > > What are the advantages of being bilingual in today society? > > To be bilingual in today’s society is very good because to be able to brake the barriers of communicating can bring to us a very good feeling of being part of the world. > > The sense of being included in the world is also very important especially in one time that people are so separated > . > My experience of life includes of having spent a period of time living in USA and other period living in Italy, and these opportunities were wonderful in terms of learning another language. > > Another advantage of being bilingual is to have more opportunities in the labor market, which is something essential nowadays. > > Finally to be able of speaking other languages bring us a knowledge of culture and the ways of living of other people > . > __ **Second draft:** __ > > What are the advantages of being bilingual in today’s society? > > Among some advantages of being bilingual in today’s society two, in my point of view, seem to be the most interesting: the first one is to facilitate the communication between people from different cultures and the second one is to develop knowledge in other fields. > > To be able to break the barriers of communication can bring to us a very good feeling of being included in the word and also we may learn to appreciate another culture and another literature besides our own. It was never so important to learn a second language especially because nowadays our world became a melting pot of culture, races and religious. > > When travelling if you understand the language of the country you go everything become easier and the experience of making new friends, tasting new flavours and knowing new ways of lives will be delightful. > > My experience includes a time spent in United States and another time in Italy and these opportunities gave to me many benefits. I could learn two languages and also appreciate better the culture of these two countries. One aspect which I always had a great curiosity about them was the food. And mainly in Italy I had learned so much. > > Few years ago I went to France to see my sister who was living there. I had so many problems trying to get the right food, to communicate with local people and also visiting places. Everything because I didn’t speak French. I felt like having lost a great opportunity of knowing a such interesting country! > > Furthermore to be bilingual helps you to develop knowledge in many fields. There are many subjects that we can find a larger amount of information in their original tongues. For example read a French culinary book in its mother tongue is much better. If you are interested in computer sciences books you are going to find the best ones in English. Not to mention that to be able to read a book in the original is wonderful. > > Finally to be bilingual with globalization increasing will approach people no matter their culture, beliefs and races. > > __**Third draft:**__ > > What are the advantages of being bilingual in today’s society? > > (hook?) Among some advantages of being bilingual in today’s society two, in my point of view, seem to be the most interesting: the first one is to facilitate the communication with people from different cultures and the second one is to develop knowledge in other fields > . > (To be able) Being able to break the barriers of communication can bring us a very good feeling of being included in the world. Also we may learn to appreciate other s cultures and literatures besides our own. It is very important to learn a second language, especially because nowadays our world has become a melting pot of culture, races and religious religions. In addition, if you understand the language of the country you go visit ing, everything becomes easier and the experience of making new friends, tasting new flavours and knowing new ways of lives will be delightful. My experience includes time spent in The United States and time in Italy and these opportunities gave me many benefits. I learned two languages and now I can appreciate the culture of these two countries better. One aspect that I always had a great curiosity about them was the food. And mainly in Italy, I learned a lot. On the other hand, some years ago I went to France to see my sister who was living there. I had so many problems trying to get the right food, to communicate with local people and also visiting places. Everything because I didn’t speak French. I felt like having lost a great opportunity of knowing such an interesting country! // (Here I merged the following paragraph with the previous one because this idea was related to the topic sentence - being bilingual breaks barriers of communication. All you needed was a connector to link it.) // > Furthermore, to be bilingual helps you to develop knowledge in many fields e specially when you need information about some subjects. For example, reading a French culinary book in its original language is much better. If you are interested in computer science books, you are going to find the best ones in English. Not to mention that to be being able to read a book in the original idiom is wonderful. //(Because you only have two supporting paragraphs, this second one needed more examples and details to make it as strong and convincing as the previous one)// > > Finally, with globalization increasing, being bilingual will help people to be more connected no matter their culture, beliefs and race. Moreover, the interchange of thoughts and ideas as also the approach with other fields of knowledge will quite improve. //( I'm not so sure what you wanted to say here, but the constructions doesn't make sense)// > Dear Heloísa, I guess you only checked my comments and didn't look at the suggestions given by your peer reviewer. Maybe I didn't make it clear that I hadn't repeated the comments and that you should follow them, too. Anyway, though you made excellent improvement from your first draft, there were still a few aspects to be corrected in this third draft. I'm sure you'll benefit from these revisions of mine when you produce your next essay. Keep in mind that before your thesis statement you need a hook. Also, each of your development paragraphs has to present a single topic which is to be very well supported with explanations, examples, or details. Your strategy to use anecdotes in your first developmental paragraph worked well. The problem was that the second one was loosely presented in a different paragraph. All in all, this is a learning process and I'm sure your next essay will be much better. (Isabela)

**Case 1-** It’s possible the content of the class didn’t challenge Pedro cognitively. He is ‘demonstrably clever’ so if the content is too easy, he may have gotten bored. Pedro lacks motivation and needs to take control of his learning. If the teacher hadn’t connected with the students emotionally in past lessons and cultivated a motivation to learn, perhaps some students would show apathy and/or misbehave. Finally, perhaps the teacher didn’t introduce the topic in an interesting way that would help Pedro become emotionally attached to the theme. At first, he acted for his own pleasure, but seems that when he was in the classroom, he sensed danger, his amygdale warned him that he might be in some trouble. Carlos’s brain was fight for control and he had decided that he would not pay attention in the teacher. Maybe I would ask to myself? What motivates the learner? What can do we do about emotions and the student? Haw can I engage a clever thirteen-year-old boy through English? How can I touch his emotions? What does interest he have? The teacher needs to think about extrinsic reasons that are connected with learning, what already is motivating people. I suggest recognizing positive effects that extrinsic rewards can achieve and try to use them in a more effective way. We need to know the structures in the brain that produces emotion and how they work. If we find a way to get Carlos more involved in his work, he will feel less bored and more engaged. Maybe I would give some activities which involve action and movement because we get enjoyment through movement. Active learning that involves choice and actions by the learners is pleasurable and effective for developing concepts and applications. Understanding what he thinks and the nature of his prior experiences/knowledge will allow the teacher to have better insight into his neuronal connections. In short, discover his existing neuronal networks. It might help if we knew what networks he already has and building from there. Neuronal networks in student brains are related to their own life experience. Bringing to the classroom activities that can be linked to English like soccer, games, movies or whatever can be related to teenagers would be very artful. We should not lose patience with our learners but continue to give them experiences that help them see the importance of learning. **Video 2** – The teacher is outside the class with the students and she starts the activity talking about a famous movie that has a scene in which a meteor hits the earth, then she gives to each student a slip of paper with an action verb like “walk the dog”, “listen to music”, “clean the floor” etc., and ask them to do what is written on the paper. Nobody can see what is on the other students’ paper. Each one must do what is on the paper and watch what their colleagues are also doing as well. The teacher gives them a few minutes then she says: look! A meteor! And the students start scream in terror. In other moment, the teacher is inside the class with the students and she’s going to teach about past continuous. She starts asking to one student what the other student was doing and she continues asking to all students what each one was doing. If they don’t remember they must ask to the student what he or she was doing, using the past continuous in the question and in the answer. First of all in order to learn the past continuous the students should have know the present continuous and the past tense of the verb “to be”, its called “prior knowledge”. The brain formulates how the new material, combined with existing learning might be useful. The activity passed by the whole learning circle proposed by Zull in //The Art of Changing the Brain//, as we can see: Phase 1, concrete experience/preparation, in the activity of the sensory cortex, where we receive and begin to process visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, and gustatory information: the students hear about the movie, read the paper, act and watch their colleagues; Phase 2, reflective observation/ incubation, seems to characterize an activity of the “back (or temporal) integrative cortex,” which connects sensory images to prior experience in one's memory banks, neural networks, or schemas: the teacher asks to the what their colleagues were doing and than start to remember words, images, or ideas related with the activity in order to build their thoughts, they remember their colleagues’ performance; Phase 3, abstract hypothesizing/inspiration, suggests the efforts of the “front integrative cortex” in creating plans of action: the students build the sentences using the prior knowledge they had about the past tense of the verb “to be” and the present continuous. Phase 4, active testing/ evaluation, takes place in the motor cortex, where the thought is made flesh, so to speak, becoming written, spoken, and enacted: they answer the teacher using the past continuous. The goal was achieved! I would like to add also to my note the motivation, the cause that makes a student to remain actively engaging in learning. The students were motivated by the whole activity. Performing as an actor in a movie is a great strategy! Zull equates being motivated with activation of the brain’s pleasure centre that intrinsically stimulates the learner. **Reflective writing:**

Age and second language instruction in countries with limited opportunities for secondary and post-secondary education in English I suppose that in a country with limited opportunities for secondary and post-secondary education in English, like in Brazil, learners receive only a few hours of instructions per week and one or two hours a week will not produce advanced second language speakers, no matter how young they were when they began. However, older learners may be able to make better use of the limited time they have for second or foreign language instruction. In considering the best age at which to begin second language instruction, it is essential to think carefully about the goals of an instructional programme and the context in which it occurs before we jump to conclusions about the necessity-or even the desirability- of the earliest possible start (Lightbown 2008a). Both experience and research show that starting early is no guarantee of success and older children and adolescents progress more rapidly than younger children particularly in the early stages of learning. In educational environment, it’s necessary to evaluate the objectives and the resources accessible for second or foreign language development. When the objective is basic communicative ability for all students in an educational system, and when is intended that the child’s native language will continue to be an important part of their lives, it may be more efficient to begin second or foreign language learninglater. In Spain, the Barcelona Age Factor (BAF) project studied the effects of changing the age of beginning to teach English to Catalan/Spanish bilingual students. Carmen Muñoz and her colleagues took advantage of the opportunity to compare the learning outcomes for students who had started learning at different ages. Those who had begun to learn later performed better on metalinguistic awareness or analytic ability than those who had begun earlier, who showed some advantages on listening comprehension. Muñoz suggests that this may be based on younger learners’ use of a more implicit approach to learning while older learners’ advantages may reflect their ability to use more explicit approaches, based on their cognitive maturity. She calls attention to that, in foreign language instruction, where time is usually limited, ‘younger learners may not have enough time and exposure to benefit fully from the alleged advantages of implicit learning’ (Muñuz 2006: 33). Decisions about the age at which instructions should begin cannot be based exclusively on research on the critical period hypothesis, which focuses simply on age and on the acquisition of native-like proficiency, but we also have notice that especially for older learners, reaching high levels of second or foreign language proficiency requires aptitude, motivation and specially proper social conditions for learning. Bibliography: **Lightbown, P.M.** and **N. Spada.** ‘Individual differences in second language learning’. How languages are learned. Oxford University Press 2012.